The broken pieces of faith

Feeling so faithless,my faith is now a shard of a broken glass.
The edges are sharp and jagged
The glass still shows me when I look at it,
My eyes are white balls of terror;
Of expressions that meander away to an undefined blankness
The sand so infertile that the cactus dies in it,
The vultures so ravenous that they feed on the dead cactus.
The gluttons of life,
They feed on the happiness of the soul.
The eye is only a mere witness
From the greens to the infinite deserts.
The horror of it leaves faith into the mouth of the carnivorous beast.

My faith is broken.
I sweep the broken pieces,searching no more for a reflection
However distorted and disturbed.
My floor is now clean.

Pink

And this is where the journey ends
Of promises,of expectations,of unfulfilled desires,
Of the pink dreams;
The red and white:
Unfurling and twistind round and round
Making an indistinct shape;
The red of the sun rising in my horizon
The red of the love that my heart bleeds for you
The red is you, my love.

But traces of white desecrate the body of love
The white of disillusionments and of doubts
The white of confusions and confrontations
The white of my eye...

The charcoal sun sinking in my horizon,
I reach the end of my journey...
Never reaching my destination though.

The dead has been canonised

Where is the sense in that?
Where is the sense in loving and leaving?
Where is the sense in pulling yourself up...
Root and body
Leaves and hair
Sap and blood
Bark and bones?
Where is the sense in being human?

The flesh revolts at the new touch,
Squirms and shrinks,
Terrorised that the touch will unleash the horrors of the past.
The lips that are parched,blood oozing from the broken vein
Can never kiss glory.
The eyes of the dead haunt the living.
The afternoon dressed in a shroud
The night stifled in the coffin
The dead has been canonised.

Winter

There's a sense of unreality
Like the self fragmented
Scattered here...
And there...
Thoughts and memories
Moments and reminisces
The mind liberated
Takes a wild gallop across the greens of life.

The green which is no more there...
The yellow and the brown
The autumn of my life
Ushering in the winter.
Am I looking forward to it?
If winter comes,can spring be far behind??...
But...
A life is a year
And my spring is now a dry leaf
A page
A phase
A lifetime.

Oh Winter...What agony do you have in you?
Pale and bloodless
The penury of the soul
The chill of a corpse
Are you a dead man?

The phantoms

Every time I write
The phantoms of the present
Pluck my eyes till tears flood,
Peel my flesh off till I rot,
Twist my throat till I croak,
Scoop my soul from the swilring mist of love and agony
Shredding it to insignificant pieces...
The deep red secrets
Bared and revealed
Raped amd mutilated.
Oh! The humiliation of being naked...
Clothe me I plead.
I shall write no more
Till my phantoms are exorcised.

How many deaths have I died for you?

How many deaths have I died for you?
Seeing you each time
Time froze,my soul stirred,
Our eyes met,
You saw the love in them,
I didn't.
I died.

Feeling you kiss the one you love
I touched love once again,
In you...for her.
I walked past,
Our lips never held.
I died.

Beholding the tears in your eyes
I grew pensive;
Even you could cry? The world is at your feet;
But stop! The tears,they didn't belong to me.
I died.

You come for my funeral
Unaware that it is mine
Unaware that I have smeared you with my ash.

My heart's too heavy...

My heart's too heavy...
For me to hold
Staggering
Limping
Struggling
It nearly stumbles...
On each stone and pebble,
On each cactus and thistle.

Look...
The black blood bursting forth it,
Bruised
Bleeding
Is my heart crying?
It swoons...
In darkness and in oblivion.
A lost soul writhing in agony
Twisted and tied
Dying perhaps?...

Can anyone hear the dead?
Is there anyone to save?
To touch?
And to love??

The Pain

The pain
So deep
So wide
So long
It does not hurt anymore
The pain is me.

A wounded word
A sleeping sentence
It does not speak anymore.

My voice is lost...
You have raped it.
I wonder-
Can you give it back to me?
Will you ever?
Can I feel hurt once again?
Can I speak?
Give back what belongs to me...
Will you ever?