Sitting at Barista, I am waiting for a friend. Now she has told me that she will come at four but then she is quite famous when it comes to making people wait.
“Where the hell are you? How much time does it take you to come from college?”
“Coming right now…got stuck in the traffic at the bend.”
Hmmmf….Vodafone message-two bucks thirty reduced from my account-balance now stands at Rs.0.93. amazing! Can’t even give a missed call.
Getting stuck in a coffee shop where everyone comes with company is quite an experience-two lovers cooing at the back(I wonder why the owners don’t throw these PDA people off!??!), Auntyji coming with bachchalogs for a treat(kiddies look haggard, guess the imminent board exams don’t help much in looking happy!), a gang of friends(one of them with a fly on the chin before I realized that it’s a growing goatee), two surly looking men discussing business and there I am still waiting for my friend as my cappuccino arrives steaming.
Hmmmm….
Now as I look at the woman sitting in the corner I find myself staring-
Must be at the wrong side of fifty, a chiffon sari in mustard green and greying hair at the temple-not an out of the way figure but then she has a rose on the table. Come to think of it when was the last time people saw me with a rose??! Until I buy myself one, I don’t get to see often of these red flowers! So what is she doing with one?
My friend comes-“God these rickshaw wallas….they have to haggle down to the last penny!!”
-“Or is it you who haggles down to the last one?!!”
-“oh give yourself a break…let me order something.”
-“see the woman there…the one with the rose.”
She turns all the way back (embarrassing, she never learnt to be discreet!)- “Ya, so?”
-“You saw the rose? A middle aged woman sitting alone at a coffee shop with a rose. What do you think can the story be?”
Yawn!-“Must be somebody ya, why are you bothered? Now let me show you this, this polka dot top. You know how much I got it for?? Fifty bucks-beat that!!”
-“Huuuh?? Where from?? Why can’t I ever get things like these?? Tchaa!”
The story of the woman lies forgotten. She is still sitting alone.
-“Ok gotta go, my maid will be there almost.”
-“Heh heh, already the proper house maker are you?! Thik aache, will see you at college tomorrow. And ya do get your assignment; will need to maaro some ideas!”
-“Sure. Bye.”
My friend leaves. I stay back to use the loo.
Coming back I notice that the woman is gone. Time for me to pack and leave as well. And then I see this man coming- tall, with wrinkles near the eyes, the grey hair falling at his shoulder, the shirt untucked…. And holding a red balloon in his hand- a heart shaped one. He looks this way and that and goes to counter and asks something. Not finding the answer he wants he checks his watch and sits on the chair left vacant by the woman.
A bunch of college people troop in. All flushed, the girls giggling at the guys over some secret joke. All hold red balloons.
And then it dawns-
One more day to go for St. Valentine’s Day, the guy martyred for love!
A rendezvous- the woman and the man- a promise made perhaps ages ago- when perhaps they were still in college- perhaps a long awaited meeting- ideas burst out in my head!
Perhaps but then perhaps not.
I take my bag from the chair, leaving.
The man is still sitting on the chair….waiting…
The story of the lonely woman now complete.
Dated: March 9, 2008
6: 40 p.m.
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Do I comment as a literary critic (from a neutral point of view), or as Chitrak (bringing in the personal element)? The difference will be in the degree of appreciation, not the quality of it. Personally, I really love these kinds----written in the present continuous tense. And then, the background being an extremely familiar one (also one which makes me nostalgic), I identify myself all the more with the narrator.
ReplyDeleteAs far as it is about the way it is being narrated, EXCELLENT. Nothing more that I can say. Enthusiastic appraisal. When it comes down to what has been presented, I have a few points. Firstly, didnt get what was happening. You say the woman is gone. So does it mean her purpose of coming to Barista has been served? In that case, what was her purpose? Surely she was not in Barista with a rose for nothing. In case she left without getting what she expected, why did she leave at all? To make it more blatant (and spoil the entire enigma of it), in case she was waiting for this man, why did she leave before he arrives? Even if he was late, I am sure they would have wasted "two bucks thirty", assuming they are Vodaphone customers. And I do not preusme that at this age the lady was trying to act pricy by walking out.
Secondly, while reading, I was expecting the story to take a different turn. About how a man and a woman, already on the wrong sides of their lives, have found new companions, and hence new youth in their lives. An old promise made in college......hmm.......of course, the narrator is in college herself (ooops!!!! University), so I cannot blame her for thinking that way. But this was not a criticism----just a passing remark.
And as an "aside" remark, please try and be a bit more patient with the lovebirds who like to get cosy.